Suism

An experiment in happiness

Most people who know me will know how little science interests me. Don’t get me wrong I’m glad its there and I’m happy there are scientists (like my man) doing all the things they do in order to help keep us alive etc. It’s just that it’s never really been my thing. There are times, however, when I would really like to have a greater scientific perspective. Because, I’ve found, it helps you win arguments if you follow a formula. (Yes, there’s no saving the world for me I’m afriad!)

For example a discussion in my house usually goes like this…

Me: “Ï want X” (X usually being some activity or object which involves more time money and effort than I possess)

Science Brain: “You don’t have enough money, time or effort for X. It’s not going to happen”“

Me: “Yes, but in my artistic imaginings I am perfectly resourced to do/acquire X”

Science Brain: “Then you should do it…”

Me: “Fine you’re right. I won’t do X”“

So now I’m going to make my Science Brain (ie. boyfriend) happy and prove the following…(or he will be appalled at my ignorance of how to properly conduct an experiment, it could go either way)

Hypothesis: Everything is better when the sun is shining.

Now I know from my year 10 level of Science that you’re meant to create a somewhat equalised playing field for the experiment. And that wasn’t really the case, because my parents were visiting and I had 2 long weekends in a row. Which on it’s own is pretty conducive of happiness. I also know I should have a greater number of subjects than n=1. But I’ve also gotta work with what I’ve got, and my funding wasn’t great.

Method: Live my life for the one week of perfect sunshine in the Netherlands and see if it’s better than the other 51 weeks of grey sky (hmmm I seem to be already losing my credibility. Note to self: try to curb gross exaggerations for this post)

Analysis:

Going to the beach= better 

          

Sightseeing= better

      

Painting= better

           

Making coffee= better

Sitting on a terrass= better 

      

Going to weddings= the best!

                            

Results: Everything is better in the sun. And don’t just take my word (and slightly questionable method) for it. Go out onto those streets and canals and breathe in the smiles and festival atmosphere. This week, in the sun, has been one of the best of my life. And that aint no exaggeration, Science Brain.

Note: I should probably admit there was one thing less fun in the sun and that’s writing this blog. What with the burning hot black keypad, glare on the screen and a crying baby somewhere in my apartment block, I had to move indoors, but I still stand by my argument.

Happy tanning allemaal!

When I knew I was an adult

I have never been very sure about much in life. My decisions tend to be based in the moment and I’m happy to go with the flow and follow my gut. Of the few things I’m sure about, however, 2 stick in my mind.

1)I love my family and

2)the day I own an espresso machine will be the day I become an adult.

My parents have a huge influence over me. They have never told me explicitly what to do. I never even had to clear my plate at dinner. However, when life decisions come up, it’s their voices I hear and their experiences I draw from. They have shaped the person I continue to grow into. And that person is now an adult:

    

The joy of owning this Francis Francis surpasses all previous joys. Perhaps I’m not a real adult. A friend of mine told me she would be an adult when she was married with kids. That sounds like a more grown-up ambition. But I’m not going to look for another milestone. This is it for me. And with my parents flying in tomorrow morning I can make sure we all wake up to smell the coffee. After all this is what my European adventure is all about: Love, Art, and Coffee.

But now I’m curious about everyone else, tell me when you will be an adult? Or are you one already?

Being me

So this is me:

     

Well I have black hair, and am more likely to be standing by the canals than the Eiffel Tower, but in all other aspects can I totally relate. Firstly my two favourite things are right there in front of her. Coffee and flowers. And yet she looks back in indecision. Or maybe she is distracted by that hat. Either way I’ve been taking a leaf out of her book and distracting myself with some of my favourite things (add a fine glass of red to the list). It makes me remember that I’m living in Europe, not just living. 

     

It’s easy to get distracted in Europe.

Why I stay…

It doesn’t get any Dutcher than today. Queensday. Amsterdam filled with expats, tourists, beer, second-hands and oranje. This time of year marks other momentous occasions in my life. 3 years ago I came over to this crazy land to marry someone who now lives a different life, 2 years ago we didn’t get married, 1 year ago I wrote this. There are other much more relevant things going on in the world every second, minute and hour, but everything I feel today seems more important to me.

Today the sun shines and fills my soul to the top with happiness. After 6 months of grey skies, interspersed with 3 short weeks of Asian brilliance, it is a welcome relief. There is nothing like the Amsterdam sunshine. It’s what keeps us here despite everything which drives us away. So much time is spent in the expat community wondering why we continue down this hard road of bad weather, distance from loved ones and cultural obscurities. My answer is two-fold:

   

                                                      AND

   

I am so lucky with the people who  frequently wander in and out of my life. The longer cameos bring with them more wisdom than they probably realise. This blog, and the confidence it took to start it, is the result of one of the best characters I’ve ever had the joy to play alongside. Another young up-and-comer has made a reappearance and impacted me in a huge way. Watching her overseas adventure, with its calm and rocky patches has made me appreciate mine. I love my life here. I’m not an expat, I’m here for love and I fall in love over and over again with this city.

Happy Queen’s Day everyone, whether you’re near or far. You are part of my story; thank-you for helping me act out a good one.

(ps. The title of this post was almost “Why I satay…” due to a typo. I did think about deleting everything I’d written to answer that question, but decided the original was perhaps a bit more relevant to today, maybe tomorrow. Life, after all, is all about choices.)

Zomer Liefde

A lot of times I miss Australia. Especially when I travel half way around the world and then come back without seeing my loved ones. Somethings do ease the end-of-vacation-pain however, good friends and good music being two of them. 

It’s true that I will miss the concerts and festivals when, if, when I go back home. Slowly many-things Euro are planting themselves into my heart, which I will miss terribly in Australia. But what better way to dance the post-holiday blues away than with some of my favourite people. Even better when I can share them with you because my talented friend Miss Danielle Park is a budding photographer. So enjoy these photos of hers as much as I enjoyed Geheime Liefde. Here’s to a Summer full of music, if not sunshine!

Just follow my festival rules…

Line your stomach

Find a camera man

Make an amazing speech

Get the lighting right

Gather a crowd

And dance…

Finding balance in Thailand

The trusty iPhone had alerted us of the one thing which could potential ruin my so far perfect holiday in this Buddhist paradise: torrential showers. We had arrived in Thailand approximately 10 days earlier and thus far had been treated with clear blue, endless blue, bright and shining blue skies as wide as a Thai smile. The land was scorched as is customary in the hot season and we’d been warned that the lush landscape would be parched and burning off. But no matter to me, a girl accustomed to the sunburned country. As promised, the rain came. As we were situated in the Kanchanaburi region, known for its outdoor pursuits and stunning waterfall swims, we turned to our wild card we’d prepared earlier. If we were going to have rain we would take the opportunity to warm ourselves beside a Thai wok and learn the secrets of Somtam, Panang and Thot Man Pla Krai.

Noi would be our tutor. Set on the banks of the River Kwai her hostel/restaurant/cooking school had enticed us the night before with flavourful bursts of those familiar lemon grass, chilli and lime combinations and we happily handed over the 1000 baht to learn her secrets.

At this point it is essential that I admit to a vanity common to my man and I. We’re good cooks. I’m not ashamed of my pride nor do I think it’s misplaced. We source locally grown mushrooms, own a kitchen aid and the entire collection of Jamie Oliver books. I was raised on a fusion of BBQ, British and Indian cuisine and most importantly we both love to eat and share good food. Previous to the trip I’d spent a month perfecting a Pad Thai recipe and felt pretty confident when we sat in the small group to discuss our experience with Thai food and talk about what we would like to learn. The disgustingly beautiful Norwegian couple glanced at each other nervously every time the word chilli was mentioned and the German with a knife obsession wanted to know how to stop her vegetables from going soggy in a stir-fry. J and I gave each other little smug smiles already seeing ahead to our perfectly turned out meals which were the almost certain result of this course.

FAIL. No matter how hard we tried our dishes just didn’t taste the same as Noi’s. With a smack on the bum she’d ask me what I thought was missing. I’d reach for the chillies she’d swipe my hand away and add a pinch of sugar. If I suggested lime, she’d laugh and hand me the chillies. It was all very frustrating, but one thing was clear: Amidst the unfamiliar flavours of the sweet, sour, salty, spicey old Siam I was going to have to find a balance.

What does spending 50 euros on 2 pairs of ugly shoes mean…?

     

That I’m ready to fly to Thailand of course. Well ready may be a big word considering other than buying these beauties I’ve pretty much just visited my gym and sat on the couch recovering from a great party at Suzy Wong. Flying to Thailand counts as super exciting to the point of no sleep so I’m pretty tired. But YAY! So watch this space (but maybe in three weeks when I return) for retrospective pics of sun, sea, food, buddha and jungle. I’ll drink a bucket for you!

Feeling contrary

The weather in the Netherlands has been all over the place this week. Ranging from dark ominous clouds to light grey skies and the first bursts of spring resulting in magnificent, unspoiled blues. Not far off the way I’m feeling. With this being my last week of work in the company where I first truly sampled Netherlands work culture ( I don’t think 3 days patching tires, or 2 months waitressing in a language I don’t understand counts) my emotions have been all over the place. Not that I’m sad. It was my decision to leave. This job had run its course and I look forward to the challenge which lays ahead. But big change is a struggle for all humans. It seems we constantly compelled by change and resist it all at the same time. Or is it just me?

To illustrate how this week has been for me. I’ve written you a list. This is a concept created by a fellow Amsterdam blogger who I’ve never met but am linking to her page because I’m not very organised and I’ve been trying to write a list for Friday for some time. The opportunity may never come again!

So without further ado, here is my list of this week’s conflicted feelings…

Saturday: Riding down the uber-hip Harlemmerstraat to see some kind stranger release 1000 brightly coloured ballons into the air filled my heart with joy. Which quickly dissipated as cyclists came out of nowhere causing me to mutter with irritation as I dodged the obstacles in my path

Click for source…

Sunday: Feeling energised after a long, sunny, Sunday run with a girlfriend and then utterly exhausted after a lovely dinner at Cest Ca knowing this long week lay ahead.

Monday: Panic and disappointment at being stood up by one of my favourite people in the world and her recently arrived beau. Overwhelming delight in discovering them waiting for me for half an hour because the poor love had lost her phone.

Tuesday: The constant agony of having so many loved ones far far away. Having one of them visit you and it being just as comfortable as old times. Like a warm cosy hug.

Wednesday: Embarrassment in realising after talking to two very learned friends that I probably don’t read enough newspapers. But appreciating the fact they think I’m interesting enough to hang around with anyway

Thursday: Cooking AMAZING Australian goodies for my going away arvo-tea! Horror at realising I can’t lick the spoon with new restrictive diet.

Friday: A little afraid of the changes I’m about to undertake as I head on an overseas adventure (Hello Thailand) followed by the next step in my career, but mostly joy, overwhelming joy, with having lived, survived and thrived in a different culture for so long.

Here’s to mixed feelings, going against your gut sometimes (especially concerning condensed milk sadly) and reaping the rewards. Happy Friday!

Update…

Bike found! Where? you ask. On a surface of course, right where I’d left it. Turns out once you remember the colour of your bike it’s actually not that hard to find. So once again I can zip along the canals drinking my take-away coffee. I once used to enjoy a skim flat-white whilst driving west through Australia’s great burned paddocks on an impromptu roadtrip. Now the multitasking has kicked up a notch to bike one handed weaving through other cyclists, trams and pedestrians over the cobblestone streets. And gone are the skim milk days in this diary-obsessed land. It’s a full fat cappuccino which now graces my lips and hips. But that feeling of content which comes from my little paper cup and wind in my hair remains. Some things do cross oceans, you just have to be creative and willing to have coffee stains on your sleeve. A small price to pay if you ask me…

       

Update…

Bike found! Where? you ask. On a surface of course, right where I’d left it. Turns out once you remember the colour of your bike it’s actually not that hard to find. So once again I can zip along the canals drinking my take-away coffee. I once used to enjoy a skim flat-white whilst driving west through Australia’s great burned paddocks on an impromptu roadtrip. Now the multitasking has kicked up a notch to bike one handed weaving through other cyclists, trams and pedestrians over the cobblestone streets. And gone are the skim milk days in this diary-obsessed land. It’s a full fat cappuccino which now graces my lips and hips. But that feeling of content which comes from my little paper cup and wind in my hair remains. Some things do cross oceans, you just have to be creative and willing to have coffee stains on your sleeve. A small price to pay if you ask me…